“As I slid that large sharp knife back into the block, I stood transfixed in the kitchen at the realization that I had only been seconds away from taking a man’s life. And that I had wanted to do it to rid myself of pain—pain I believed was caused by God. I had left for school that day with an idea that would nearly destroy my life: if God did not love me, yet loved all others, I’d take away those he loved so very dearly. Burn for a burn.”
Hating God, Loving God:
How a Young Man Born Into Suffering and Driven to Despair
Found Jesus Christ
Hating God, Loving God presents the author’s graphic and painful memories of being raised in a secretive, abusive, and manipulative cult, and how his childhood sufferings spilled over into a troubled adolescence and a deeply disturbed adulthood. In throwing off the lies told to him by the cult’s elders, he also threw away any sense of God’s love and mercy.
His pain, fuelled by a hatred of God, whom he blamed for all his troubles, turned him into a bully, a petty thief, and, but for the grace of God, a murderer. Somehow, he survived adolescence, got an education, and set out on the road to making money, believing that the accumulation of possessions was the only thing that would earn him respect. But his pain persisted, and he sought relief in all the wrong places. Even the unexpected love of a good woman was not enough to take away the pain.
Adrift in an ocean of despair, he decided to commit suicide. It was only then when he was at his lowest point that he was ready to accept a truth he had persistently denied: the truth that God loved him.
After giving his life to Jesus Christ, who transformed him and renewed his soul, he went from hating God to loving God.
After 28 years of tears and pain, trials and tribulations, fleeting moments of joy and decades of agony, I gave my life to him as he once gave his life for me. My Saviour, my Shepherd, my Father, my Friend.
— Chapter 21, The Day God Changed My Life p. 203
About the Author
A. K. Davies is a self-published Australian author, prolific speaker and educated Christian Apologist. Contrary to some assumptions, Davies grew up hating God! However, over the course of his life, he soon learned to love God and ultimately find solace and credibility in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Davies went on to complete his training and education at the prestigious Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM) Academy, home of a global team of esteemed speakers. Today, Davies speaks at churches and various organizations across Australia, sharing his powerful testimony. His mission is to inspire all people to search for the truth and find Christ in their own lives.
Davies is also a husband, homeowner, a National Sales Specialist, and he loves to spend time with his beautiful wife, Shannon, and their white German Shepherd, Chloe.